January 21, 2022
Every wife should be working for her husband. This doesn't mean you have to work in his place of employment, but you do need to be working for his good. The support of his wife can be the difference between success and failure. How you support him in his endeavors will vary based on his personality and the situation, but learning what he needs and meeting that need is part of the fun of being his wife.
In Ephesians 5, wives are told to submit to their husbands. This is the perfect business model. The husband is the owner and CEO, while the wife is the general manager. Two equals working together in different capacities to accomplish their goals. My husband is much more of a risk-taker than I am. A lot of my submission involves trusting him and taking the risk I wouldn't otherwise take. Just knowing that I am supporting his ventures makes him more confident and more likely to succeed. Wives need to trust their husbands in their leadership. No one leads without followers. A wife should be her husband's first follower and primary supporter. His success is your success!
In Ephesians 5, wives are also told to respect their husbands. This respect can take a lot of different forms. I find one way that is often overlooked is the way women talk about their husbands in public or to other women. There have been many times that I have heard women get together only to complain about their husbands. Not only is this disrespectful, but it is tearing down your husband in the eyes of others. Rather than supporting him, you are degrading him, and this should not be. When you are in public or gathered with others, that should be a time of praising your husband. Brag on his endeavors. Celebrate his successes. Laud his efforts. Praise his thoughtfulness. Let others know how much you respect your husband just for who he is. This does not mean false praise or exaggerated stories. Just highlight his positive qualities rather than failures. Remain truthful, but do so in a way that brings him greater respect from those who hear you.
Titus 2:3-5 tells us, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Upon first reading I was thinking, why would I need to be taught how to love my husband and children? I figured that love just came naturally. However, there are times when we need to learn how to love them. Wives need to know that every man is different in the way he gives and receives love. Not every man follows the Prince Charming romantics type. Part of loving your husband well is understanding him and how he receives and expresses love. Give him love in that way.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but I think all three of these areas can be improved with sex. You will be more trusting and submissive, more respectful, and more loving if you are regularly intimate with your husband. Many people think if they don't feel loving or trusting that they should fix that before any type of intimacy can occur. I'm suggesting that you have sex anyway. Are you unsure about that "crazy" business idea he has? Are you not feeling very loving toward your husband? Have sex. Enjoy intimacy with him, and you will find following those commands to submit, respect, and love your husband so much easier to obey.
All of these things work together and build upon each other. They are not exclusive or compartmentalized. God expects wives to do all four of these things. As I grow in my love for my husband, for example, it makes it easier to submit to his authority. I also find a greater level of respect for him and a growing desire for intimacy. As I respect my husband and praise him in public, I grow in my attraction and love for him, making it easier to submit to him. Have sex. Love him the way he desires to be loved. Respect him both in your home and when you're with others. Submit to his leadership and authority. All of these continue to circle and grow and serve to make your relationship stronger.