Pivot

This month has been a restart of sorts.  As life happens, we often have to make adjustments along the way.  This is an area of struggle for me.  I’m not good at sudden changes in plans or making it up as I go.  However, that is what we had to do this month.  I received practice in sudden changes of plans, putting the needs of others before myself, and learning to “go with the flow.”  I definitely didn’t do this perfectly, as I am still a work in progress.  I may have seemed calm on the outside, but I had some repenting to do for my selfish thoughts.

My husband received news of his father’s failing health.   Patrick was able to share the gospel and see his father accept Christ as his Savior.  We praise the Lord for the time he had with his father and especially for his salvation.  This brought much hope and healing when his father passed away.  With his father’s death and the death of others in our church family, we have had to put aside our own plans for the sake of others.  We have to set aside what we want for what is necessary.  In Ephesians 6:1-4, Paul writes, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  We must honor our parents.  This may look different depending on our age and the circumstances.  For some, this seems easy.  For others, this may take much prayer and work.  My husband handled a difficult situation with the grace of God.  He was not only a witness to his father, but also to his siblings and his children.  They saw the daily visits, constant check-ins with nursing and staff, and his prayer and consideration of not only the most honorable treatment of his father, but also the course that would be most honoring to his Heavenly Father.  He taught his boys how to face difficulties head-on and make difficult decisions even when we are tired, stressed, and would rather do anything else.  He took his responsibilities seriously and honored his father both in life and death.

Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”  We make plans, and it is good to have a plan in mind, but those plans don’t always work out the way we would like.  We need to trust that life proceeds exactly as God has planned.  I really struggle when things don’t go according to my plans.  That may be the reason my plans are so often thwarted.  I am still learning how to pivot and change, sometimes at a moment’s notice.  Usually, it comes down to my own selfish desires.  I want things to go my way, and I can’t handle it when they do not.  I need to heed the words of Paul in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  We were planning a weekend trip to some more state parks.  I wanted to work towards our family goal of visiting all of the state parks.  I also wanted to work on my personal goal of getting outside more.  Instead, we stayed home, we went to a funeral, and we supported others in their time of need.  We celebrated a life of faithful service to God, and mourned with those who mourned.  It was more important than our goals.  It was more important than my plans.  

My husband is a much more “go with the flow” kind of person.  He thinks things through, but he doesn’t always create a spreadsheet or a chart.  He doesn’t write down the plans.  He gets a vague outline in his head and moves forward.  He often has other contingencies so that he doesn’t get frazzled or worried when something doesn’t work, or plans change.  He is my opposite.  I need to learn to trust that just because the plan wasn’t written down or shared with me doesn’t mean there is no plan whatsoever.  I also must trust what my husband knows, because sometimes he does make up the plan as we go.  He uses what he knows to come up with what we should do or where we should go.  My weakness is his strength, because God knows exactly what we need in a spouse.  That is another way I can keep learning and growing.  

Even with all the changes and pivots, I was able to make it back towards my goals.  I did get some time outside this month.  I did start exercising, including a fun walk on the beach with friends, watching dolphins jump alongside us.    I ended the month with my daughter at our Ladies’ Beach Retreat with a great time of learning, fellowship, food, and fun.  My boys enjoyed their “man weekend” with their dad.  We ended the month with our goals still in mind, with the plan to see all of the state parks, and with my plan to plant a garden and be outside more this year.  It is still okay to have a plan, but hopefully, I am holding it more loosely as we go forward.