October 14, 2022
Church should be somewhere the whole family is welcome. Parents and children can worship and learn alongside one another. While some churches offer nursery services or children’s church, my husband and I feel strongly that the whole family should worship together. You will notice in the apostles’ writings to the churches in the New Testament, when they address children they address them as if they would be with the whole group listening as well. For example, in Ephesians 5 and 6, Paul addresses children directly saying, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” As babies grow into toddlers the thought of having them in church with you may be a daunting one, but it can be done.
Remember that the reason we gather to worship is Christ. While we may learn and be edified by others, we are also to contribute to others with the gifts we have been given as well. Church is not about what we can receive or “get out of it”. One of the main ministries a mother has is the teaching and training of her children. During those early years, it may be tiring and it may seem as if you are not learning much yourself. However, those are crucial years for teaching and training your children how to worship. If you remain consistent, it will get easier. Even children as young as two and three can learn to sit and listen. While their attention span will be shorter at first, there are things you can do to help them learn and grow.
Very young children benefit from snacks and small, quiet activities. The hardest age is probably about 9 months to 2 years. At that time, they are mobile, curious, and not yet understanding how to behave in church. We have a longer service at our church, so snacks are a must for my toddler. He doesn’t always eat a lot, but it is good to be prepared. Full disclosure, the rest of the family doesn’t mind a snack from time to time either. We also try to pack some extra snacks in case there are visitors near us with small children who may not be prepared for the length of our service. We also bring small, quiet toys such as stuffed animals, coloring books and crayons, or “busy books”. These soft, quiet toys allow them something to occupy their hands during the service. As they get older, what is available will change to something more age appropriate.
We encourage our children to take notes as part of active listening to the sermon. Not only is this modeled by a parent (usually dad since I am wrangling the younger ones), but we try to find age-appropate ways to take notes. For those who are still not reading and writing, provide a blank notebook in which they can draw pictures of what they are hearing. It may surprise you how much they glean from the sermon! Once they learn to write, it is a good time to teach note-taking. Maybe help them with some of the main points and let them fill in what they heard about each point. They should, at the very least, be able to identify the Scripture text from which the sermon was taken. When they get to the older elementary and teenage years, they should be fairly self-sufficient in taking notes. They can even write questions they have as they listen. This provides a great opportunity to talk to the whole family about what they learned after you come home from church. When you are all in the service together, you have sung the same songs, listened to the same Scripture and sermon, and can talk about the different things you have learned. This also allows parents to identify and correct any possible misconceptions or answer any questions children may have had about the sermon.
When they are young, being consistent in discipline can seem exhausting. There are some Sundays when they will sit nicely and pay attention. On other Sundays, it will seem like a constant battle. Through it all, know that it is only for a season. Once they reach that self-sufficient note-taking stage they know what is expected. They can focus and take notes on their own. They are, hopefully, excited and engage in active learning and worshiping as the Holy Spirit works in their heart and mind. It will not always be chaos and correction. When your two-year-old can tell you that God made him and takes care of him, or that communion is the body and blood of Christ, you see that it is worth the effort. We have been entrusted with these young lives for only a short time. We must make the most of the time we have been given to invest in their eternity.