Childhood

  Questions, exploration, questions, play, and more questions; this is childhood.  This is when children are continuing to learn and explore the world around them.  Sometimes it seems as if they have no fear, because they have not yet learned all the things of which to be afraid.  They want to know about everything and can’t seem to learn it all fast enough.  Animals and bugs tend to be of great interest, as are machines.  According to an article published by Davis in 1932, questions account for up to 22% of a child’s language usage!  That’s a lot of questions.  While all of the questions might start to wear down your patience, it helps their brain development!  So what can we do with those inquiring minds?

I will readily admit that I am a work in progress.  I am trying to live more consistently with what I believe is best for my children.  I get tired and overwhelmed with all of the questions.  Sometimes I just need a break.  I am guilty of giving my children screen time so I can jump in the shower or get some things done without interruption.  However, I have become increasingly convinced that less is more.  The less time children are in front of screens, the more their brains have to think.  They do not need to be entertained all the time.  It is beneficial for them to be left to their own imagination.  Yes, I still need to keep an eye on them, but I do not have to be with them every moment of every day.  Don’t stifle the thoughts, questions, imagination, and creativity with a screen that tells them what to think.  Sacrifice a bit more of your time to answer the questions or read the book rather than putting on a show.  I can acknowledge the benefit of educational programs, but they should not be their main activity every day.  There are plenty of experts you can read about this topic, and I would encourage you to do so.  Find a balance that works with your beliefs and values. 

Children need to explore.  They need to be left alone to be bored.  Let their minds work.  Let them fail.  Failure is hard.  I don’t like to see my kids struggling or failing.  I want to rush in and help them.  I want to offer a suggestion that I know will make their building more structurally sound.  I want to help them find the answer or solution to the problem.  I don’t want them to get hurt.  However, failure helps us learn.  Trial and error will not only help them find a more useful, efficient, or secure way to do something, but it will also give them a greater sense of accomplishment for having figured it out themselves.  Be their sounding board, be their cheerleader, be their card catalog (pointing them to resources they can use), but don’t do it all for them.  Let them get outside and play with sticks.  Let them take out a magnifying glass and discover the world amidst the grass.  Something I particularly struggle with…let them get dirty.  As much as I hate all of the dirt and sand getting tracked into the house and the time and energy to clean them up (and often their experiments as well), the truth is that kids (and clothes) are washable.  These things are hard for me.  I don’t like messiness.  I struggle to let go of control and knowing exactly what they are up to.  Sometimes I’m right to worry.  When my five-year-old son is walking out the door, telling me he’s just going to grab some of the power tools, it is perfectly fine to tell him he has to wait to use those with Daddy.  However, when Daddy gets home, he is going to show him the proper use and respect for those tools he wants to use.  He is going to learn the difference between a toy and a tool.  He is going to be given direct instruction on how to safely use the tools he wants to use, so when he is older, he will be able to use them without Daddy’s help.  Follow your husband’s lead.  Not only is he the leader of your family, but he can be trusted with the care and instruction of his children.  In fact, he is the one who has the greater account to give before God.  Often, I feel like my husband’s suggestions are reckless, but he is much more calculating than I give him credit for.  He knows that boys need risk and responsibility.  He knows that failure will make them stronger men.  This is true with all of my kids, but I need to especially lean on him in raising boys.  He was a boy before, he knows what they need better than I do.  Follow God’s instructions for the order of the family, and it will help you follow His instructions for raising children.

The Bible is not silent about what parents are to do.  As Moses is recounting the law, he exhorts parents to teach it to their children.  Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  This takes it beyond Sunday School.  He doesn’t just say take them to church.  There is a burden on the parents to teach diligently.  This should be thoughtful and intentional.  You can also see that it should be all the time and everywhere.  Scripture should be visible and readily talked about in all situations.  Even if your children are not yet reading, let them see you reading from the Bible.  Point to the words and let them follow along.  This will not only help them with their reading development, but it will also stress the importance of reading God’s Word and the authority of Scripture.  This is not the only place parents are told to teach their children.  Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  While this is not a guarantee that your child will be saved, it is a general promise of truth.  You can see this to some extent in everyone.  We all think and believe based on our worldview, and that can be very hard to change.  My grandfather rejected Christ and stated he “did not want to be accountable to anyone.”  However, he was raised in a Christian home and would often quote Scripture or revert to the morals he was taught in that home.  He wasn’t a Christian, but he had a biblically based morality.  He left the faith of his parents, but he didn’t wander far.  While it is fathers that are specifically mentioned in Ephesians 6, we again see a command to bring up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.   We can turn each and every question into an opportunity to share the gospel.  We can teach them about the creatures in the backyard and point them to the Creator.  We can answer why someone would be mean with an explanation of sin and our need for a Savior.  We are responsible for not only teaching them how to behave, but also how to think and reason.   It may seem noble or right to this world to allow children to choose their own religion, morals, and beliefs.  There is a big push for child-directed learning.  We are told in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”  Children don’t need to lead, and they definitely shouldn’t be left to follow their hearts.  While it is great to allow children to investigate and learn, there should be parents guarding and guiding the path they follow.  Parents will be accountable before God for what and how they taught their children.  

Childhood is not just a time of waiting and caring for small people until they grow up.  These are the formative years when parents are to invest in training their children according to the Word of God.  If God has blessed you with children, He has also entrusted you with a great responsibility to raise them to love and fear the Lord.  These years go by fast!